My HairStory - "Good Hair vs. Bad Hair"

My Hairitage
By: I AM XI

Long, thick, dark brown
Naturally wavy, relaxing straightens
My hair has taken on many hairdos over time
And throughout my life, people have always ask me about my ethnicity
My heritage…
I was five when my hair started to grow down my back
Busted down the middle, two braids, one on each side
Strangers asked: “Are you part Indian?”
I’d shyly respond: “No…I’m Black.”
As a teen, sporting a swinging ponytail, friends boldly stated:
“You gotta be mixed!”
I’d respond assertively: “No. I’m Black.”
During the summers, my hair takes on a curly-Q coiffure
Some inquired: “Are you Hispanic?”
Puzzled, I’d respond: “Uh, no…I’m Black.”
Even when it’s hanging straight down from a tight wrap and grease
I’ve been questioned: “You got some Asian in you?”
Baffled, I’d defiantly respond: “NO. I’M BLACK!”
From my strong roots to my highlighted tips,
I’ve always been aware and proud of my hairitage.


I entered this poem in a contest for Soft Sheen-Carson in 2006. Although I didn’t win, I did however receive an honorable mention for my effort. But, it wasn’t the contest prizes that prompted me to enter; it was the contest’s campaign to share our hair stories that resonated with me. The poem above is my story and may not be shared with everyone reading this. However, this discussion about our hair is LONG overdue and I hope that I am one of the few voices in changing our attitudes and views towards our hair.

I felt compelled to write this post after hearing about Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair which is schedule to be released in theaters this October by HBO Films. Rock produced Good Hair shortly after his then 5-year-old daughter, Lola, came to him crying and asked “Daddy, how come I don’t have good hair?” Rock committed himself and set out to search the ends of the earth and the depths of black hair culture to find out who put that question in his child’s head. However, it’s much more to this documentary than Rock’s comedic one-liners and wisecracks. He is serious about getting to the root (pun intended) of how we view our hair and the effect it has on our activities, pocketbooks, sexual relationships, and self-esteem. I am glad that this documentary is exploring our hair culture; however, I’m heartbroken that it had to come to pass because a 5-year-old child was inflicted with some angst over her hair.

Like I stated before, we all have our stories and our likes and/or dislikes about our hair. For those who are not African-American and who is reading this, please understand that this is a deep-rooted issue in the black community. It stems so far back to slavery days that this single post alone would become a dissertation if I tried to cover everything concerning black hair culture. But, I won’t (well, not all in this post). I will however discuss my thoughts on this controversial topic and my opinion of how we can stop passing on our hatred for our hair to our children.

For me, I've heard that I have pretty or "good hair" my entire life. BUT this compliment never came from those in my family, but mainly from those outside of my family. There were no differences made between other members in my family or me when it came to our hair. When I was younger, I never felt that having thick, long, naturally wavy hair was a positive or a negative either way, because everyone in my family has various grades and lengths of hair. One person's hair was never considered better than another family member's hair. It wasn't until I was a teenager that I began to fully understand what "good hair" meant when it was directed toward me and its connotation.

When people would tell me that I had "good hair," often times, it was said in a negative way, usually with an eye roll. I didn’t understand why girls wanted to cut my hair in grade school. I never understood why people would say to me: “You think you’re better than everyone else” just because of my hair. It was all very baffling to me, because I didn't think of my hair as "good" or "bad" either way. I really didn't and still don’t think much about it to be truthfully honest with you, because my hair just exists. It is what it is! I don’t like or dislike my hair, OVERALL, I am happy with it because it's all mine! (And yes, my hair is all REAL! Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked that, but I digress…) My hair does not make me who I am, I was born with it and I cannot change it anymore than I can naturally change my skin complexion, eye color, facial features, etc. And the same goes for everyone else in our culture, no matter how hard we try. I live with who I was born as everyday of my life because I embrace my characteristics, I don’t flaunt it in a superficial way nor should I feel less confident about what God gave me because of other's insecurities about themselves.

I love being black because I believe our features are so broad and arguably more wide-ranging then other ethnicities around the world. But, when we should be embracing our culture and our looks, we are pitted against one another by our pasts, society & media standards, and sadly, each other. We all have seemingly fed into it at one point or another, knowingly or unknowingly. But, in my opinion, hair seems to be the scapegoat in addressing much deeper issues: as a culture, our “light skin/dark skin” complex and one’s individual insecurities about their own looks. This is what I have a problem with, because in my experiences the “good hair” comment towards me was almost never about me. It was never about who I AM XI is on the inside. NO! People would look at me and “perceive” me to be a certain way because of my fairer complexion and long hair.

I’ve heard it my entire life! Well into my adult years, I still hear the same negative connotations reverberate as I did in my youth. Most recently, a friend once said to me that she couldn’t have children with her boyfriend because he “had nappy nigga hair” and her family would frown upon it. She went on further saying that she and her mom were the darkest in complexion in their family, and that there were definite differences made between them and those other family members with lighter complexions. This is part of her story that obviously affected her negatively and I’m sure many others out there as well. So, I completely understand that our stories differ in that respect.

However, I would love for us to all get pass what we know of our past (I hold no ill will or grudges toward those girls who cut my hair in school) and what we see in movies and on TV. I want us as a whole to look pass what long, straight hair is compared to what shorter, coarse hair is... or to some what "good hair" and "bad hair," respectively, is perceived as. Let’s stop feeding into this babble! I know I for one completely despise it. I despise it because we are continually perpetuating it and we are passing our issues onto our children, the future generation. Now, I do not have children of my own, but I see it playing out once again through my 8-year-old cousin who is being teased right now in school because of her long ponytails. My Mom and aunt wanted me to talk to her, but I struggled the same way Chris Rock did when Lola came to him. How do you explain to them why they are being teased for being the beautiful little girls they are? How do you tell them to rise above it, and that others are “just jealous” of them? What do you tell them…and how do you stop it?

Well, in order for us to stop it, I would like for all of us to check ourselves first. Take stock within yourself. Think about what you are saying and doing and how it continues to perpetuate these stereotypes. Next, I would LOVE for all Xfactors to strike “good hair” and “bad hair” from our vocabulary. Let's just stop saying it altogether! We HAVE to move on from the negative connotation of what "good hair" and "bad hair" is. Most of us ALL have hair atop our heads and it’s either healthy (good) or damaged (bad). End of story! Because if you ask the cancer patient who is completely bald what he or she believes is "good" or "bad" hair, I'm pretty confident that he or she will say HAVING hair is "good hair."

I’ll stop here for now as I leave you with that last thought…But, this is an issue that is very near and dear to me for many reasons. However, there is SO much to cover because I've just skimmed the surface. I’d like to revisit this topic over time as the movie premiere nears and once I’ve actually viewed the documentary myself. So, this post just may become a dissertation as I explore various facets of this topic in the future (such as styling – natural vs. processed).

Stay tuned!

Now that I’ve shared me stories and experiences with you, I’d like for you to share your “Hairstory” with me! Be it positive or negative. Let’s have a very honest and open discussion and dialogue about this very controversial topic.


Also, check out the Good Hair trailer coming to a theater near you!
http://festival.sundance.org/2009/film_events/films/good_hair

The Evolution of Perry

Being the movie buff that I am, I was web surfing for new movie trailers and I stumbled across the latest one from African-American uber producer, Tyler Perry. The film adaptation of I Can Do Bad All By Myself debuts this fall and, based on the preview, seems to represent Perry's move toward more serious fare. While it still features the matriarch icon Madea, Bad focuses on the story of a young woman who has loses her will to love and, in turn, poisons those around her to do the same. It's the same story we've seen in the film (and stage) versions Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Madea's Family Reunion, and Meet The Browns. Despite that, it seems like Perry is embracing a more mainstream approach to his films now....he seems duly ready to officially crossover into popular culture, meaning the multiplexes will now look even more diverse when the new film hits.

Tyler Perry has been revered as the leader of the pack in African American entertainment. He has forgone the serious, hard-hitting conceptual movies a la Spike Lee and John Singleton and instead embraced family fare, riddled with drama and interlaced with comedy. He's been criticized for setting black cinema back decades....with many saying his films (and his signature role, Madea) are a throwback to the "chuckin and jivin" era of blaxploitation films. However, everyone must note that Perry has slowly but surely established himself as a major force in the motion picture business. While he is not necessarily reserving his invitation to the splashy Academy Awards, he is wowing pundits when his movies regularly open at number one, each one breaking its predecessors astonishing opening weekend numbers. He is commanding major talent from all genres, from Academy Award winners like Kathy Bates (The Family That Preys) and Louis Gossett, Jr. (Daddy's Little Girls) to fresh, new faces like Taraji P. Henson (Family That Preys, Bad) and Idris Elba (Girls). He's giving screentime to seasoned vets like Cicely Tyson and Alfre Woodard while also drawing in the likes of music senstaions like Mary J. Blige, Gladys Knight (both co-star in Bad), Jill Scott and Janet Jackson (both in Why Did I Get Married?). His films are starting to seem a tad bit more heavyweight, still focusing on relationships and family but now interspersing them with drug abuse, alcoholism, prejudice and financial woes. He is a writer, director and executive producer and everyone has to admit he is his own best collaborator.

I'm sure that I Can Do Bad All By Myself will get the biggest promotional push thus far of any of his films and rightfully so. It's Blige's first movie role in ages and Henson is currently on the A-list, thanks to her Academy-Award nominated turn in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Coming soon from the extraordinnaire: a sequel to Why Did I Get Married (my favorite of his films) and Madea's Class Reunion. My one gripe is that I'm a bit exhausted from the women done wrong stories....a refreshing love story without all the angst, baby mama drama and scars should definitely be in the cards soon. And the fact that top talent like Angela Bassett are actually hunting HIM down for roles could actually lead to such a great story.

Combined with his ratings-rich television hits House of Payne and Meet The Browns, Perry has gradually risen to the top of his class. Did anyone even notice Spike Lee's film last year, the quite good Miracle at St. Anna? Not really....but the theaters were packed for Madea Goes To Jail. He's in a class of his own and surely enjoying the ride. My hope is that his films continue to evolve into thought-provoking, entertaining works of art that will allow us as a people to unashamedly say that our stories have a place on the big screen as well. And maybe, just maybe, he'll be at the Oscars....as a nominee.

Summer 2009 Movie Review Pt. 1

Unfortunately, the dog days of summer are slowly winding down for many of us....for me, it means that I've seen a ton of movies in a short period of time as me and the cinema have a standing date every weekend. If you're a movie buff, check out my reviews of some of this summer's stellar (and forgettable) flicks:

*X-Men Origins: Wolverine: This was summer's official opening film...and it started off with a bang! Hugh Jackman proved he was more than capable of handling his own film, albeit with the assistance of a great supporting cast that includes Ryan Reynolds and Will.I.Am. The movie is awash in special effects and great fight scenes and it actually runs at a perfect time....there are no slow, boring portions. Most people have probably seen this one already but definitely check it out again once it arrives on DVD.

*Terminator Salvation: Why in the world did they do this reboot? While the action scenes were pretty impressive, the movie seemed to drag for significant portions. Christian Bale was definitely upstaged by newcomer Sam Worthington. With its dismal box office performance, I doubt there will be another one but this is a sad goodbye to a pretty good series. Side note: the Governator does make an appearance!

*Drag Me To Hell: This film represents the return of director Sam Raimi (known now for his Spiderman films) to his original horror roots. The movie is scary, tense, funny and a tad bit over the top - perfect ingredients for a horror movie. It's a must see...just make sure if you have a sensitive stomach, that you pass on the hot dogs and nachos...there are some pretty gross scenes.

*Up: another perfect collaboration between Disney and Pixar. This movie ranks as one of the best of the year so far. It is colorful, engaging, exciting and visually impressive. Don't discount it as a children's film either - the themes are pretty universal and the first ten minutes will actually make you tear up. A must see!

*Angels & Demons: I was not a fan of the original Da Vinci Code movie and neither am I a fan of this. It is dark, depressing and a drag. If you like thrillers, there are some pretty good elements that you will enjoy but overall, I would pass on this one. Tom Hanks needs a return to his comedic roots stat!

*Star Trek: hands down, the best movie of the summer. And no, I am NOT a Trekkie...I didn't even watch the original shows. This film was well written, well acted and well directed...it is the perfect example that blockbuster films can be smart ones too. The cast meshes incredibly well and the special effects don't become the whole movie...but they sure do enhance it. A must see!

*Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: this is a cute sequel to the blockbuster original. Amy Adams as Amelia Earheart steals the movie from Ben Stiller with her charm, wit and theatrics. Kids will love it and adults will too.

*Dance Flick: this is the kind of movie I want to dislike seriously....but it was sooo funny I had to laugh. The Wayans have expanded their clan in large amounts and the baton is most worthy of being passed. There are some questionable moments (like when the film spoofs Twilight) but there are some hilarious scenes that more than make up for it.

*Next Day Air: this movie seems out of place in the middle of the big summer event films and it shows. It made little box office and did hardly anything to advance the careers of Donald Faison, Mos Def (who usually makes pretty good choices) and Mike Epps (who is typecast in the dumb sidekick role). Take it or leave it....once was enough for me.

*Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen: I may get cussed out for this but I wasn't blown away by this much anticipated and hyped sequel. It was okay but it wasn't the benchmark film it was supposed to be. It's a tad too long and most of the dialogue could have been cut. If you love special effects (and that alone), you will enjoy! If not, look elsewhere or wait for the DVD arrival.

*The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3: two classy actors in a classic thriller. Perfect formula, perfect story, perfect acting. John Travolta shines a tad bit brighter than Denzel because he's in a different type of role while Denzel is once again the good guy. It's a refreshingly adult movie in a season awash in kiddie fare. A must see!

*My Sister's Keeper: I won't easily dismiss this as a "chick flick" - it's a moving, family drama that works on so many levels. A child dying from cancer seems a bit out of place for this time of year at the box office but the movie is eerily effective. Cameron Diaz has matured into a competent and capable actress and she holds this movie up very well. Take your tissues though - it's a tearjerker.

*The Hangover: summer's best comedy, hands-down. With a cast of mostly unknowns, this hit shocked everyone but when you actually see it, you won't be surprised whatsoever. It gives you exactly what you expect - a lighthearted, crazy romp in the lives of four crazy guys. A must see!

*The Proposal: Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds shine greatly in this romantic comedy. Betty White shows she still has her comedic flair as well. A must see!


Whew! That was a lot of movies, right? If you're looking for an escape from summer's heat or from your own life, hit up a movie theater....trust me, you shouldn't regret it.