Pastor Kerney Thomas...Seriously WHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?!

I'm bizack! For those who missed IamXI, I apologize for being away for so long and neglecting you. But, I'd like to personally thank XIKhai for holding it down and updating the site with such intriguing articles daily as well as all our contributors who posted in my absence. I truly love my XI family!

With that being said, I want to hit you all with something this Friday morning that is so hilariously funny that I HAD to share! This definitely brought a smile, grin, chuckle, giggle, and belly-aching laugh to my face...

Last night, after an intense aquatics workout class and dinner with my Mom, I came home to relax and wind down. Of course that included some television and falling fast asleep on my couch. Well, I was awaken this AM by Pastor Kerney Thomas. Oh, and if you haven't heard of him then this post is for you, and as you continue reading you'll know why I was awaken out of my slumber.

I first heard of Pastor Kerney on the Rickey Smiley show one morning a few months ago as I drove into work. Smiley was saying the same thing pretty much that I mentioned in the previous paragraph (TV on, waking up in the middle of the night, flipping channels or something to that effect). Unfortunately, I wasn't in the car long enough to hear the actual audio of Pastor Kerney, so I really didn't have ANY clue as to why Smiley was cutting up on this man so tough. But oh, now I know!

Just some insight into who Pastor Kerney is... His website bio states, Pastor Kerney Thomas was his parents' "second born child and while they were using birth control, determined not to have any more children at that time, God had a greater purpose." Pastor Kerney has ministered full time since 1981 all over the world and is currently serving as Senior Pastor of the ABUNDANT LIFE INTERNATIONAL CHURCH OF GOD IN CHRIST. He has traveled, preached, and conducted Miracle Crusades throughout the US...

Alright that's enough of the BS, this is my account of what I know of Pastor Kerney... Apparently, Pastor Kerney is a full fledged TV evangelist. And I mean, he is typical of EVERY stereotype that you've ever seen and heard of when it comes to black pastors (Tyler Perry's 'Mr. Brown' and Coming To America's 'Reverend Brown' comes to mind). He screams and yells, prays and shouts, shucks and jives all for the 'Lawd' while hawking free "personal prayer packages" and a "Red Blood of Jesus Prayer Hankerchief." Yep! A plain ole red piece of cloth dubbed the "Prayer Hanky" will bring miracles to you in your life. Although his "products" are free by way of the Miracle Prayer Line, don't fret, you can also donate or "sow a seed by check or credit card" because "this is not a debt you owe but a seed you sow and when you sow it God will grow it!" And even though Pastor Kerney can barely speak proper English himself, he speaks in tongues too... Or rather, he recites MJ's infamous "mamasay mamasa mumakusa," but that is NO comparison to the foolishness of Pastor Kerney's "GAAAAAAAAAAAWD." Yes, he literally screams this out whenever he says "God." Needless to say, you know how I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to compose this post.

Now, IamXI is not trying to offend anyone or have you thinking that I don't believe in a higher power or that I'm poking and making fun of religion, faith and whatnot. But, THIS is some foolywangness if I've ever seen it...you have to admit it...Check out this 'Best Of' for yourself:

Oh and BTW, I found this priceless gem on the only place where you can see Pastor Kerney Thomas daily, 4-5am Eastern Time... None other than, good ole Black Entertainment Television. Yup! B.E.T...


Pastor Kerney Thomas...Seriously WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY?! The devil's a lie!



For those of you who are interested in more information on Pastor Kerney Thomas for whatever reason, you can visit his website: www.kerneythomas.org (And yes, that is Furonda from America's Next Top Model in the picture for "Prayer Request" on the homepage. Mmm, I guess her modeling career hasn't gone very far.)

BET...SERIOUSLY WHY?! (Part II)

So, ladies and gentlemen, the rant continues...

Today, @BET tweeted on Twitter: "House Of Payne: Possible Spinoff on Horizon: I have yet to be influenced by Tyler Perry's brand of Black Entertainment..."

OH REALLY, BET?! WOW! I have yet to be influenced by YOUR brand of entertainment! Now, IamXI is not the biggest House of Payne fan and I'm not saying that I've liked everything Perry has created, but I can't believe they are literally calling the kettle black! How dare you have the audacity to knock someone else's interpretation of black entertainment especially when that person has done more for black entertainment than your own network. I mean really BET, WHAT makes your "brand of black entertainment" so positive, influential, and the standard?! I'll tell you what...the fact that you have "black" in your name. Yep, that's the only reason! Just some food for thought before you start throwing salt on someone else's game!

In light of XI's BET special collabo post from this morning, our content contributor, J. Probe, found this lil gem for us. (XIKhai told you we had a sense of humor...)

**Disclaimer: Contains strong language and content that may be offensive to some.**

BET…SERIOUSLY WHY?! ***SPECIAL COLLABO EDITION***

Black. Entertainment. Television… A network founded by a black man that has been on television for almost 30 years; I should be proud to say that I watch because it displays such positive images of people who look like me. But, BET, you are nothing more than a network that breeds damaging and destructive images of the African American race. Our ancestors are probably rolling over in their graves as they look down from above to see what they struggle and died for. President Obama should shut you DOWN for good, as you go against EVERYTHING that he stands for. BET, simply put…I hate you! And I’m sure that many others that have joined our movement share the same sentiment. (Do I hear a resounding applause?)

Now, I have resisted the urge to compose this, but I couldn’t muffle my thoughts about BET and the effect that it is having on our culture and its future any longer. But, my hatred for it has deepened since Sunday when I tuned in to watch this year’s BET Awards. From the red carpet pre-show to the black carpet after show it was a colossal disappointment. Here BET had the opportunity to treat us and honor THE BIGGEST name in music and it chose to do something totally opposite from that. Instead BET chose to get ratings by telling the WORLD that we’d see artists from far and wide perform MJ songs in tribute to him. FAILED! However, the WORLD was privy to seeing teenage girls with pom-poms shake their asses all over the TV screen while artists rapped songs that were entirely bleeped out. Afterwards, their reasoning for the show they aired live internationally: “we only had 3 days to prepare.” Well, BET, death is unexpected and you knew the time constraints you were under after the confirmation of his death. Your awards show was already scheduled and planned for Sunday, June 28th (See BET Awards 2009: Pre-Awards edition), you should NOT have used this man’s death as an excuse of your very poor display of production and professionalism. The WORLD saw borderline buffoonery this past Sunday night, and will continue to see it replayed over and over again 6,284 times during the next few weeks. BET, you should have just had the balls to gracefully bowed out and chosen to do a tribute to Michael Jackson that was literally ‘fit for a king’ at a later date when you had more time to prepare for it. Because that was TRASH that you put on display the other night and you should be ASHAMED!

But, should IamXI be surprised? This is BET we're talking about…Black. Entertainment. Television… They haven’t made me take pride in their network for years now. But, they are content and satisfied with their television programs. They must be quite pleased that most see it as a representation of how blacks are viewed in America… Because gone are the days of quality programs such as Teen Summit and Video Soul. Gone are the days when Ananda Lewis, an educated black woman, hosted their TV programs. NOW, we have 106 & Park who have guests on like Pretty Ricky who sing about sex to 13-year-olds, and it’s hosted by Rocsi, most recently known for being a home-wrecker than intelligent. I remember her audition interviewing rapper Xzibit, where she asked him about his MTV show, Pimp My Ride...(I know you're giving the screen the dumb look right now.) They also have College Hill, where most of the cast mates spend their time in lavish, off-campus homes and rarely on campuses of the actual black colleges they speak of. This show is mainly based on their in-fighting and hooking up, then the trials and tribulations of college life. Which leads me to BET’s newest additions to their ‘oh so great’ line-up, Tiny & Toya and Frankie & Neffe… I can’t…Lord, mama’s tired (SMDH)… XIKhai, can you take it from here, please (tagging off)…

(...picking up where IamXi left off)
Disclaimer: The words you are about to read are heavily judgmental and harsh so if you’re in any way in denial regarding the coonery that is BET in what they choose to display on a daily basis, please stop reading now…

Ok now that we’ve gotten that out of the way…I’m going to throw some words out to you. Dysfunction, blissful ignorance, drug abuse, loud, rude, angry, dental down syndrome *swagger jacked this gem from flyguyworldwide on twitter* which is another way to describe the complete and utter disregard of proper English, disorderly conduct and down right FOOLERY. A friend of mine once said to me that words have meaning and when thrown out into the universe regardless of their context some words are taken at face value. Now imagine for a moment what these words mean when describing the two NEW shows BET has set to premier this season in all of their disgraceful glory.

Black women have endured a lot of controversy over the years…from the horrors of being consistently raped in the days of slavery, followed by the suppression of their voices in this country before the woman's suffrage act. To being called every name but the child of God, while other black women fear that black men don't even notice us anymore; we’ve suffered the backlash that the world of music videos has placed on our shoulders and at the end of the day most of us can’t even find ONE black woman to lean on when the world is crumbling down around us because we barely get along with each other anymore. Some wouldn’t argue that a lot of these issues were handed over to us...effectively passed down and not directly linked to our own doing and they’d mostly be right. However, what we’re witnessing today is a generation of self-inflicted wounds that I fear are doing far more damage then we’ll ever truly know. What I see…I’m placing at the feet of some people I know (yeah I bet I got your attention now as I’m sure toes are curling up in some shoes.)

Now I have to say, that catchy lines and hilarious banter on a tv show is a quality in which I live for. Everyone needs comic relief from time to time, even daily for some, and the more I get the better I feel. People who deprive themselves of a good laugh I’d venture to guess are probably not the most appealing people in the world, just my personal opinion. So let’s get that aspect out of the way, I'm not trying to suck the fun and humor out of our television. We all love a good laugh…but for some shows, where the laughing stops…the hurt begins. Which begs the question to BET…Who are we and what on earth do we represent?

Let’s forget for a moment that we’re living in the era of Obama ok, let’s just go back to being regular ole black folks. Have our creative minds taken a backseat to true entertainment in exchange for former junkies and baby mamas? I’m sorry, but in the two NEW shows BET has chosen to air where do the women like some of my close friends relate and fall in? You know these women…they’re the ones that get up every morning and work hard, then come home to take care of their families, and discuss ways in which to change this world. The singles ones like me, who also work then hang out with our friends and enrich our lives by doing positive things for the people they love and care about. Where are these women? For once BET can you bring these women out and pass on the easy but shameful laugh? Can my image be reflected on a show...I mean is it a fear of the unfunny...because I can assure you that we crack jokes too, damnit! I know alot of funny women who are as equally entertaining and less crass, vulgar, and HOLLOW. Depth is an intriguing quality in women as it compliments our humor as well as wit and charm. We do exist and I’m sure I could round up some folks who would tune in every week to take it all in. So I don't quite understand why drama and foolishness win out every time and plague our existence on the television screen. And since I'm asking, why do our children have to be fatherless reared up in confusing family situations. Engagement rings are nice but so are weddings and while divorce is a necessary reality for some it’s not for all and what's up with the "eternal engagements"...you know where you get the ring and that's it. Do all of the men we date have to be rappers and entertainers bound for jail or worse? Can’t we be shown dating lawyers and investment bankers, shoot a nice office guy with all of their teeth and NO TATOOS would due? I would like for once to be shown in a positive light on the network that bares MY existence? Yes I said it, people that aren’t black believe BET to be the window into the souls of black folks and if this is the window they’re peeking into…I’m going to need some steel bars and medal plated slabs with thick black curtains covering me up because the images aren’t accurate. And while I’m sure the women on these shows love their families and work hard for them, the way they choose to go about their daily lives should not be the model in which the world sees us. But sadly it is!

For once I’d just like to watch a show on an English network in America and not need subtitles! I’d just like to be proud of the images I see and hold them as a true reflection of my life?

When I started this post I wanted to you all to laugh and use my wit and quips as a guide into my mind. However, the more I wrote the angrier I became and I know now that’s it no longer funny, it actually stopped being funny a long time ago. As we flip the channels the examples are endless and it’s no longer humorous…as a matter of fact to put it bluntly it became so funny that we no longer needed other races to set the stereotypes of us. So racists need not apply because we’re doing the dirty work for you free of charge. And with BET’s summer line up of shows they’re writing another chapter that will inevitably be added to the many stories regarding black women, and this one is as ugly as it gets.

So to the Toya’s & Tiny’s of the reality world along with the Frankie’s & Neffe’s thank you ladies for telling YOUR story…but I have to ask that next time, you do it without the entire world watching…

Seriously why, NOT?
Leave us a comment...We want to hear your thoughts about BET, the BET Awards, and/or their current & future programming line-up.

Seriously Why...Joe Jackson?

Now I know I must be smoking because I KNOW I did not just witness a publicist, an attorney and a label name drop while discussing his son's death.

Seriously Joe...WHY pops?! Why?

*Blank stare*

Seriously Brett Favre...Why?

It's a painful thing in the world of football for athletes...when they reach the pinnacle of their career and must face the reality of hanging up the cleats. Most start planning their departure by exploring the many options available for retired athletes. Some do this by branching out into completely unrelated fields while accept job offers in sports broadcasting, coaching or front office positions within various franchises. However, regardless of the choice at the end of the day ALL must take these steps with dignity and honor out of respect for the players behind them whose turn has come to shine as they once did in their prime.

So why aren't we having a conversation like this about Brett Favre...why you ask? Seriously why...because Brett Favre hasn't had the aforementioned conversation with himself and clearly has no plans in doing so. Don't be fooled by the customary off season game of "Will Brett Favre retire?" where cameras set up shop in front of his home and his agent muddles through questions regarding his "future plans" and Brett submits his retirement paperwork to the NFL only to request for reinstatement right before training camp is set to begin. This tawdry scenario plays out year after year while the media forces it down the throats of millions of fans as if they don't know how the story ends.

Well I'm sick of it Brett! Seriously I am. What is it about your pathetic and obviously useless life that keeps you from allowing what many before you made sure you had with the full spotlight of that of a young promising career gives. First man up on the, "Brett's stealing my shine", spotlight show is Aaron Rogers. Drafted in 2005 Aaron was the passive apprentice groomed to fill the shoes of the future hall of famer whenever he decided to hang it up. But as the 14th & 15th seasons came and went Rogers as well as the Packers quickly realized that Favre had no intention of going out quietly so at the start of the 2008 off season the team was forced to pack up his locker and ship him out to New York to play for the Jets. Once he arrived in NY not only did Brett steal the shine from Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning he was the direct cause of Chad Pennington's departure from the team who had drafted him back in 2000. Pennington was shipped to the Miami Dolphins clearing a space for Favre now entering into 17th season in the league. Yes I said 17th season. I think it's appropriate to note that the Jets finished 9-7 in 2008 eventually releasing Favre during the off season and drafted Mark Sanchez in April.

Now as we enter into yet another summer of "Favre foolery" his next conquest are the Minnesota Vikings who seem poised to sign him pending an intense physical which will highlight questions about his throwing shoulder that he recently had surgery conducted on (which I'm convinced no longer contains human parts...but that of an old used car with various pieces of junk from other models holding it together.) However, I think it's clear judging from Favre's track record he's leaning towards playing, what with 17 seasons under his belt what's 18 right? But true to form standing in the way of Favre's "eternal football career" is another young QB in Tarvaris Jackson who will likely be cleared out of the way to make room for the dinosaur or worst Jackson will be reduced to backup after a decent season in 2008.

What has me baffled is if anyone is paying attention to the clear selfishness of this man who can't let the game go? We all know Favre is a hero and one of the greatest QB's in history...I get all of that. I personally love the guy. But I mean it's one thing to sign with a team to fill a need but these teams are casting good players aside to appease the whims of an old man afraid to face reality and move on. Seriously Brett move on dude...stop ruining the careers of young QB's because your name is golden to franchises who will NEVER get the full potential from your days in Green Bay. What you had years ago is gone. And what you're today is pathetic, annoying and unnecessary!

BOY.....BYE!

We're growing eyelashes now...Seriously why?

Mmm, ok… So, I saw an infomercial a while ago featuring Ms. Calvin Klein Jeans, Brooke Shields, promoting…wait for it…eyelash growth treatments. (Do I hear crickets?) Yes, I said EYELASH GROWTH TREATMENTS! And yes, you heard correctly, Brooke Shields has gone from modeling tight CK jeans to modeling her own Chia pet grown eyelashes…blinking around the damn TV screen like eyelash growth treatments are cute! My mouth hit the floor! AND the FDA actually approved this treatment by Latisse, but…oh wait…you have to get a prescription from the doctor first. (Hey, doc, I know that I’ve been coughing for a few weeks, but um, can I get that Latisse?) I suppose fake eyelashes weren’t enough, huh? Some doctors and scientists somewhere felt that this was a more "natural" process. Ok, I just want to backhand slap those doctors and scientists who decided that it would be best to make people feel even worst about their looks than to create a cure for cancer, HIV, Swine Flu…hell…the common cold! I thought that I had seen it all when it came to infomercials, but this was it for me.

So, if that wasn’t enough, I googled this "first and only" phenomenon and the pictures had me freaked out! Are your eyelids suppose to look that hairy? And are your eyelids suppose to be that red and inflamed looking? Well, for those of you interested in this treatment, please be advised that it "may cause eyelid skin darkening…and there is potential for increased brown iris pigmentation which is likely to be permanent." As well as the "potential for hair growth to occur in areas where Latisse solution comes in repeated contact with skin surfaces." In XI terms, your eyelid or eyeball may fall out or come detached from your head…

Have we sunk that low and have become that obsessed with our looks as a society that someone had to go and develop a growth treatment for your eyelashes? I’m sorry, but a good tube of Covergirl LashBlast mascara (highly recommended) does the trick for me. I am NOT interested in this at all, and they just need to STOP! I mean, to each his/her own, but XI is in no way promoting this product if you’re one that is interested in furry eyelashes. Better yet, visit http://www.bellasugar.com/3323347 for a Sephora Lashstash Mascara Deluxe Sampler giveaway instead.

I’m too done! Eye candy?! HA…Girl, bye!

What do you think about this? You can get implanted butts and breasts, Botox, and now eyelash growth treatments…Is this just another penny being thrown into the fountain of youth? What’s next?

Seriously WHY, Aunt Viv?

So, Janet Hubert (-Whitten no more), only known for her role as the first "Vivian Banks" on the iconic Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has written a tell-all memoir about her departure from the show in 1993. In the past week or so, she has been shamelessly, self-promoting her book entitled, "Perfection Is Not A Sitcom Mom," which pretty much bashes the show's star, Will Smith. Thirteen years all after the fact, she has been publicly lashing out that Will Smith was basically a one-man wrecking crew of her career. She quips that Smith was not the charasmatic actor that many of us have grown to admire and love. Supposedly, her claims against Smith include "mental and verbal abuse on the set, hypocrisy, excessive egoism, blatant resentment, the insensitive spewing of ‘your mama’s so black’ jokes, and ultimately public slander." Hubert also accuses Smith of having "full power on that set."

...(pause for the cause and blank stare)...

Um, please correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't Smith's hip-hop alias "Fresh Prince?" And isn't the show called the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, not the Janet Hubert-Whitten of LaLa Land show? Am I the only one making the correlation here? Mmhmm...Ok, thought so...

(pause break over, continuing)

The show's premise was based on and centered around Smith. NBC approached and wanted Smith, someone who was very new to acting, to star in the weekly sitcom. And Hubert, a weathered actress already in Hollywood, seems to be the only one harboring some "blantant resentment." It seems as though Hubert is making claims in her memoir, and much of it comes off as bitterness and animosity of the celebrity that Smith has become over the years. As well as what the show has become since it premiere in 1990, nearly 20 years ago. So, I'm pretty sure she's not getting as many royalty checks from the show and its syndication, since she has pretty much burned bridges with not only Smith but other notables such as Quincy Jones (the show's co-producer) and other NBC executives. Yeah, back in '94, she filed a suit against the network and Smith too!

Now, this is a first that I've ever heard of Will Smith basically being an a-hole from a supposed 'insider.' He has worked with many actors and actresses since the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on the air and I've never recalled hearing that he was diffcult to work with, even then or now. His other castmates have even worked with him on other projects and television shows after Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Alfonso Ribeiro has directed episodes of All of Us which was created and executive produced by Smith. And Tatyana Ali and Smith have both been featured on one another's albums, Kiss the Sky and Willennium, respectively.

So, I don't know about you, but it seems as though Ms. Hubert is trying to be relevant again in anyway possible. I mean, she is going around spewing all of these wild accusations that I can't understand why anyone would check for her book in 2010 when it is slated to be released. Yeah, I said 2010...as in a year from now. I guess because it is a recession, everyone is in need to make a quick buck...well, we know Will Smith isn't.


Aunt Viv, for real? Girl, bye!


For the full EUR Web exclusive of her interview with DeBorah B. Pryor and bonus audio: http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur54147.cfm.